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yogen wants to hear ur cr
pictured: you, talking about what ur character thinks of someone else
step 1: post with your characters
step 2: respond to others with the characters you have CR with (or not, i aint gonna stop you)
step 3: get all the details on how their characters feel about yours!
step 4: return da favor?
i havent made one of these in a while it ok
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what does komaeda think of his scrunkly?
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which is to say komaeda does like shin, i'm sorry, it's really hard to make komaeda hate a person because that word us usually reserved for despair and junko, and even then at one point he had a massive love/hate with her. shin's actions are hopefilled, despite him being afraid, he does try to give direction, protect others, and it give chance for the future. it's truly a beautiful thing to see it take form, and while hope is komaeda's livelihood and shin doesn't understand it, it makes his actions all the more pure. it's a shame by using komaeda's hope senses that shin would never know how much he has himself, because even komaeda feels he has no hope / doesn't see it, but shin would be able to see everyone else's.
because of him doing these things to motivate hope, garner it, komaeda likes him on his terms-- the past pieces would have been to make him genuinely like him like a normal person because komaeda can never love or appreciate someone as a person. it's like if that special person who existed that understood you, there's no way you want to lose that, because understanding is so important to komaeda, he wants to understand a person, because that's his love language. that's why he learns about shin now, too, it's still an I love you even from beyond the grave, even if shin doesn't.
can you call this a love-love, probably not, he just loves his hope.
i also love how komaeda knows so much about shin, but shin knows nothing about komaeda which also might be why shin feels the way he do. komaeda has like so much information on what makes him tick, but in regards to what shin knows it's basically nothing-- hm, aside from his sickness, he probably does know that, and little things, but in komaeda's life that makes him... komaeda. i think it's cute, i hope one day he learns something as to why he's like that, i think it'd be cute because i remember you said something like if he knew he was brainwashed or whatever but why are they still the same, sometimes you're less murdery before your brainwashed!
while brushing my teeth i thought about how shin keeps people away from komaeda because he doesn't want them to be hurt where as komaeda keeps people away from himself so he doesn't want them to be hurt. sumn about that.
anyway, that's his cute skrunkly that he's training in detective department, but also their relationship has changed a drastic amount, from what it was. but one-sided love is komaeda's theme, and so he treats this like any other person would, and he does what he wants-- shin can tell him no, and komaeda just does his own thing, and continues messing with him. he can be genuine, and that's why he doesn't give up on him even if shin :/ because he's a murderer, and I guess komaeda see that as a problem, but with as much as he knows about midori just by sara / ranger/ alice I'm pretty sure he can probably piece together the similarities somewhere, and probably get why shin does what he does-- which means komaeda might one day ask him about it, but out the blue when he doesn't realize expect it.
sighs, i have feelings for them only because it's such a mess if misunderstandings, previous truama and it's unhealthy because of that, but whereas shin festers off past incidents, komaeda uses those to improve, and why he continues his relationship with shin because even if things don't go as they should, why should he leave him behind when they have this life to think about and make the most of it that they should. anyone we lived in komaeda's world for such a long time... no one is getting out! as long as shin can make hope, as long as that scribble light exists, komaeda won't let him go.
Midori IS the concept of love! He loves Shin! That's his toy, and you know all those messy little things that make their relationship. Before, it is such a shame that he died, because all his planning went down the drain, but he did lose out on his influence with Shin which gave him the ideal relationship with him, and even if Midori was scary af, Shin still stayed around, so they must have been happy in that unhealthy way. Now for the real thoughts, I do feel like maybe had he came earlier or around the time Shin appeared, he would have had an easier time getting him back-- that option is no longer there due to how much development that Shin has went through, and it's such a shame that his toy was built up by other people, and not him, but that doesn't mean he can't break him down if given the chance. That said, he would have to play his cards right, adhere to the rules of this game.
Shin will always always be his favorite right next to Sara, I don't believe that's moving, and I cannot say what will happen once Midori sees Shin alone in a room. So I can't say what will come of Midori once that chance happens, you never know maybe they can work because yogen is kind of like a small place, not many people, and tempting fate with shin when he has so many people can be dangerous when he knows people aren't just human, or he gauges his weakness of sumn!!
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i'm also crying thinking about that flickering scribble light and it being 'pure' bc shin isn't consciously trying to do hopeful things, he's just following his tattered heart. emotion shin really is the hope shin huh. love that komaeda's sticking around bc he wants to see it grow, shin can't get rid of him. takes your hands one day we will do the hope sense share i'm on the lookout for a good opportunity
and yissss shin knows some info about komaeda but it's all like... it's almost like trivia? bc it doesn't give him much insight into how komaeda thinks and ticks despite that shin is kind of blinkering himself about that, that understanding that came with the knowledge seems like naivete now. it's like how you write something in an exam and then change it but the first answer was right all along. npc shin was probably his own share of dumbass bc that's just a shin thing but shins are also perceptive and he didn't have his memories of trauma clouding his assessments and stopping himself being patient.
it also serves to make him a little envious im crying oh he knows FIVE languages ok shin please. But yeah the imbalance really bothers him bc Komaeda seems to be able to read him like a book. trying to think about when we talked about the brainwashing thing, i don't think shin knows about it but maybe one day he will get the Komaeda Backstory. keep thinking about how shin is still keeping komaeda's secrets despite disliking him, there's smth about that there
AND YEAH HHHH keep thinking about how like. how shin sees komaeda is exactly how he wants people to see him and clutching my head a bit bc it's. the same motivation of not wanting others hurt im crying. im crying at the idea of komaeda piecing together why shin is Like This and asking him out of nowhere he's goin to be startled cat
And yeah i do think that like. Shin liked that Midori paid attention to him, and gave him things, and showed him things and likely approached him to be friends with him??? even if he was scary and stressful, and I think he was very starved for friendship and Midori made sure he was the only source of it. I keep thinking about Shin describing Midori as an 'antihero' i think that's very telling in that it was like.... Shin feels he had stumbled into something larger than life, Midori was almost like a comic book character or fae creature but also a highschooler like him, he could do so many things and had a secret base, very cool. and shin was part of that now.
And I do think Shin who didn't have much of a barometer on friendship was like. trying to give him the benefit of the doubt and step around these things despite fearing him and knowing how selfish he was and all the games Midori played because Midori was filling a hole in his life but also because Shin is a kind person who wants to trust and see the best in people and Midori reached into that part of his heart and squeezed.
Kills me bc like. Shin is a smart cookie and knew things weren't right but he's exactly as vulnerable to lack of knowledge, vocabulary and experience and his own emotions as anyone else and it was like. being discomfited but unable to place his finger on the pulse of it. but you see that in things like trying to take his own photo etc that he was trying his protag best, it just wasn't enough.
And then of course by the time it started getting worse and worse and worse he was in too deep and trapped and couldn't get out. but there def were times where shin was happy in midori's company and comforted (even if often the reason he needed comforting was midori's fault, i think that's one of the things shin returned to on hindsight) and midori always seemed to know what he needed and they were both nerds (rocket punch!) so maybe they connected there even if i wonder how much of that was genuine on Midori's end or became genuine over time bc im crying at the concept of Midori playing this role and shin accidentally getting him into Gundam for real.
And yeah as terrified as Shin is at Midori being here, he HAS gone through a lot of development and made friends and it would not be easy getting him back but not impossible either which is hhhh he'd have to put in the elbow grease. i am not sure what will happen when they meet but i'm making the pray emoji for shin bc I do want him to be alright whatever happens. I'm crying shin actually has more of a position of strength than he thinks, maybe ranger and sara can get that through to him.