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yogen wants to hear ur cr
pictured: you, talking about what ur character thinks of someone else
step 1: post with your characters
step 2: respond to others with the characters you have CR with (or not, i aint gonna stop you)
step 3: get all the details on how their characters feel about yours!
step 4: return da favor?
i havent made one of these in a while it ok
mira ❁ helena adams
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it's an interesting place to be, because helena is fine with how it is, but it means both ways they're sort of ignorant of whatever runs deeper in each other, a sort of impasse that's passively there that neither of them want to go and disturb the balance. kind of like playing house together, knowing there's a huge storm outside.
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frankly her biggest frustration with him is seeing him just go and try to reject the idea of being cared for on a true level, which she attributes to something in his nature since it seems so embedded that he disregards himself in caring for others, but it doesn't mean she'll stop - it just means it's going to be a conflict for them and helena knows exactly how she'll proceed with it. in her view, she trusts him enough that she could sleep around him without fear - she trusts him enough to give her a good death, even, and she enjoyed facing it without being scared - so it means she won't give up on him. deeply stubborn, and willing to keep it up for a long time, until maybe he understands a little that he's not being left. one of the people she loves! get used to it!
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now, the meaty stuff is that you mentioned amami needs to be chased down to get things more indepth, and cue me banging on the glass because helena just isn't that sort of person - she's too respectful of people saying no, and it kills me because i think on some level she's aware of that distance but if she ever stopped to truly examine it, she'd think it was because of her that he didn't come closer, like her confession about the death loops was too much and drove him back. she avoids looking at it too closely because of that. so she kind of just wants him to approve of her, but could never express that in a proper fashion and instead just puts her all into doing things like cooking with him, learning her independence skills, in hopes that somehow the sentiment will come through to him that she cares. she wants him to be okay, and thinks he deserves a second chance as himself.
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going beyond that, she has things she's frustrated with him on, but it doesn't dim her view on him, just thinking he's silly on certain topics or accepting they're going to bump into each other on the rougher corners. shin she would trust with her life, and would hug him every single day if he was cool with it. she trusts him to know things about her past, though she keeps the death games secret not out of fear but because she genuinely doesn't want to burden him with that level of pain. with how much he worries, she doesn't want to give him a lot more to stress over or to place too much on his shoulders from her, but she wants to be there for him when things are happy or sad, to just encourage him. they're "weak", but to helena they're both strong as well. she's not going to forget how his soul reached out for her.
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i'm crying they really do just both want to protect and care for each other
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on another side, though, part of her wants to tell him about what happened with her tutor and part of her struggles with that, since she knows very well that subaru covers a lot of his problems with shining so bright people forget - she wants it to be mutual, if they confess these things, and a lack of secure footing in that mutual place is why she's held off for now. she wants to be an equal support for him, and to work up to that openness, because otherwise then it feels like taking advantage of his nature. until then, she'll just keep staying by him, hoping to slowly carve out that place where they can be hand in hand.
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she couldn't say why other than perhaps it's because he's so direct that he'll be honest in his review, and so it makes it both easier and harder for her. basically she wants to be his friend but worries secretly about how she comes off, and tries to not ask for too much help when she's working or things like that so that it doesn't come off as overreliance. also she fully supports komaranger because they both deserve happiness in her view. ganba, rio!
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beyond that she really is grateful for his singing and his kindness that he showed in it, it matters a lot to her since usually in the dorms she's a touch antsy about sleeping in the silence. she doesn't have a sense of awkwardness at all about things said (shin needs to Chill) and it touched her to get the offer at all. they'll keep him fed, there's no beetles in the kitchen or certain people would throw fits, so it'll all be sorted out! hopefully!
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