alright, i only had four hours of sleep and that is enough time for the human brain to be like yes, this is how the cr goes. you might not know, but komaeda is the only one (aside from rokkun) who hears about or knows about past cr and is like okay, he understands there was something important about them. because sighs, rokkun being rokkun and having all this past stuff with komaeda is like he shouldn't ignore that part of him, even though he has dementia and because komaeda does, he only remembers a few things despite how hazy. it's just the little things he remembers that remind him, but give him a few more months, that'll probably lessen to because his memory-- dementia patients sure do have it hard remembering things that they like.
which is to say komaeda does like shin, i'm sorry, it's really hard to make komaeda hate a person because that word us usually reserved for despair and junko, and even then at one point he had a massive love/hate with her. shin's actions are hopefilled, despite him being afraid, he does try to give direction, protect others, and it give chance for the future. it's truly a beautiful thing to see it take form, and while hope is komaeda's livelihood and shin doesn't understand it, it makes his actions all the more pure. it's a shame by using komaeda's hope senses that shin would never know how much he has himself, because even komaeda feels he has no hope / doesn't see it, but shin would be able to see everyone else's.
because of him doing these things to motivate hope, garner it, komaeda likes him on his terms-- the past pieces would have been to make him genuinely like him like a normal person because komaeda can never love or appreciate someone as a person. it's like if that special person who existed that understood you, there's no way you want to lose that, because understanding is so important to komaeda, he wants to understand a person, because that's his love language. that's why he learns about shin now, too, it's still an I love you even from beyond the grave, even if shin doesn't.
can you call this a love-love, probably not, he just loves his hope.
i also love how komaeda knows so much about shin, but shin knows nothing about komaeda which also might be why shin feels the way he do. komaeda has like so much information on what makes him tick, but in regards to what shin knows it's basically nothing-- hm, aside from his sickness, he probably does know that, and little things, but in komaeda's life that makes him... komaeda. i think it's cute, i hope one day he learns something as to why he's like that, i think it'd be cute because i remember you said something like if he knew he was brainwashed or whatever but why are they still the same, sometimes you're less murdery before your brainwashed!
while brushing my teeth i thought about how shin keeps people away from komaeda because he doesn't want them to be hurt where as komaeda keeps people away from himself so he doesn't want them to be hurt. sumn about that.
anyway, that's his cute skrunkly that he's training in detective department, but also their relationship has changed a drastic amount, from what it was. but one-sided love is komaeda's theme, and so he treats this like any other person would, and he does what he wants-- shin can tell him no, and komaeda just does his own thing, and continues messing with him. he can be genuine, and that's why he doesn't give up on him even if shin :/ because he's a murderer, and I guess komaeda see that as a problem, but with as much as he knows about midori just by sara / ranger/ alice I'm pretty sure he can probably piece together the similarities somewhere, and probably get why shin does what he does-- which means komaeda might one day ask him about it, but out the blue when he doesn't realize expect it.
sighs, i have feelings for them only because it's such a mess if misunderstandings, previous truama and it's unhealthy because of that, but whereas shin festers off past incidents, komaeda uses those to improve, and why he continues his relationship with shin because even if things don't go as they should, why should he leave him behind when they have this life to think about and make the most of it that they should. anyone we lived in komaeda's world for such a long time... no one is getting out! as long as shin can make hope, as long as that scribble light exists, komaeda won't let him go.
Midori IS the concept of love! He loves Shin! That's his toy, and you know all those messy little things that make their relationship. Before, it is such a shame that he died, because all his planning went down the drain, but he did lose out on his influence with Shin which gave him the ideal relationship with him, and even if Midori was scary af, Shin still stayed around, so they must have been happy in that unhealthy way. Now for the real thoughts, I do feel like maybe had he came earlier or around the time Shin appeared, he would have had an easier time getting him back-- that option is no longer there due to how much development that Shin has went through, and it's such a shame that his toy was built up by other people, and not him, but that doesn't mean he can't break him down if given the chance. That said, he would have to play his cards right, adhere to the rules of this game.
Shin will always always be his favorite right next to Sara, I don't believe that's moving, and I cannot say what will happen once Midori sees Shin alone in a room. So I can't say what will come of Midori once that chance happens, you never know maybe they can work because yogen is kind of like a small place, not many people, and tempting fate with shin when he has so many people can be dangerous when he knows people aren't just human, or he gauges his weakness of sumn!!
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which is to say komaeda does like shin, i'm sorry, it's really hard to make komaeda hate a person because that word us usually reserved for despair and junko, and even then at one point he had a massive love/hate with her. shin's actions are hopefilled, despite him being afraid, he does try to give direction, protect others, and it give chance for the future. it's truly a beautiful thing to see it take form, and while hope is komaeda's livelihood and shin doesn't understand it, it makes his actions all the more pure. it's a shame by using komaeda's hope senses that shin would never know how much he has himself, because even komaeda feels he has no hope / doesn't see it, but shin would be able to see everyone else's.
because of him doing these things to motivate hope, garner it, komaeda likes him on his terms-- the past pieces would have been to make him genuinely like him like a normal person because komaeda can never love or appreciate someone as a person. it's like if that special person who existed that understood you, there's no way you want to lose that, because understanding is so important to komaeda, he wants to understand a person, because that's his love language. that's why he learns about shin now, too, it's still an I love you even from beyond the grave, even if shin doesn't.
can you call this a love-love, probably not, he just loves his hope.
i also love how komaeda knows so much about shin, but shin knows nothing about komaeda which also might be why shin feels the way he do. komaeda has like so much information on what makes him tick, but in regards to what shin knows it's basically nothing-- hm, aside from his sickness, he probably does know that, and little things, but in komaeda's life that makes him... komaeda. i think it's cute, i hope one day he learns something as to why he's like that, i think it'd be cute because i remember you said something like if he knew he was brainwashed or whatever but why are they still the same, sometimes you're less murdery before your brainwashed!
while brushing my teeth i thought about how shin keeps people away from komaeda because he doesn't want them to be hurt where as komaeda keeps people away from himself so he doesn't want them to be hurt. sumn about that.
anyway, that's his cute skrunkly that he's training in detective department, but also their relationship has changed a drastic amount, from what it was. but one-sided love is komaeda's theme, and so he treats this like any other person would, and he does what he wants-- shin can tell him no, and komaeda just does his own thing, and continues messing with him. he can be genuine, and that's why he doesn't give up on him even if shin :/ because he's a murderer, and I guess komaeda see that as a problem, but with as much as he knows about midori just by sara / ranger/ alice I'm pretty sure he can probably piece together the similarities somewhere, and probably get why shin does what he does-- which means komaeda might one day ask him about it, but out the blue when he doesn't realize expect it.
sighs, i have feelings for them only because it's such a mess if misunderstandings, previous truama and it's unhealthy because of that, but whereas shin festers off past incidents, komaeda uses those to improve, and why he continues his relationship with shin because even if things don't go as they should, why should he leave him behind when they have this life to think about and make the most of it that they should. anyone we lived in komaeda's world for such a long time... no one is getting out! as long as shin can make hope, as long as that scribble light exists, komaeda won't let him go.
Midori IS the concept of love! He loves Shin! That's his toy, and you know all those messy little things that make their relationship. Before, it is such a shame that he died, because all his planning went down the drain, but he did lose out on his influence with Shin which gave him the ideal relationship with him, and even if Midori was scary af, Shin still stayed around, so they must have been happy in that unhealthy way. Now for the real thoughts, I do feel like maybe had he came earlier or around the time Shin appeared, he would have had an easier time getting him back-- that option is no longer there due to how much development that Shin has went through, and it's such a shame that his toy was built up by other people, and not him, but that doesn't mean he can't break him down if given the chance. That said, he would have to play his cards right, adhere to the rules of this game.
Shin will always always be his favorite right next to Sara, I don't believe that's moving, and I cannot say what will happen once Midori sees Shin alone in a room. So I can't say what will come of Midori once that chance happens, you never know maybe they can work because yogen is kind of like a small place, not many people, and tempting fate with shin when he has so many people can be dangerous when he knows people aren't just human, or he gauges his weakness of sumn!!